The Shift

Everything feels fine until it's different,
Day after day it's the same thing
Same people
Same routine
And then something happens to make everything change.

Health is frail,
I cant control it for myself and its even harder to control for those I love
I take it for granted,
Assume we are all here forever.
But when you feel the fear of losing someone it shifts.

I felt it that day

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me.  Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me.
Psalm 23:4

There in front of me in real time was the possibility I was going to lose him.
Fear, grief and panic set in.
Exasperated prayers to the Most Holy on whom I have always depended on, now pleading for Him to come and move.
Pleading for Him to step in.
Pleading for Him to give me more time.

Wait patiently for the Lord.  Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

The breakthrough is when despite the fury, you know He is in control.
Despite the symptoms, you know He can conquer anything.
Despite the panic, you know He is with you.
And there is an odd peace in the chaos.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you.  He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor abandon you.
Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord Himself will fight for you, you need only to be still.
Exodus 14:14

I have to believe that no matter what circumstance, He is before and behind me,
I have to believe that He knew this was coming and He already prepared my heart for it,
I was ready to acknowledge that the situation was serious but my God was bigger
That is changing grace;
To move through the human emotions but know that more is going on then what I see.

For He will command His angels to protect you wherever you go.
Psalm 91:11

And then everything settles and the shift happens.
Now I look at him and I know it could have been different.
I knew the stories and statistics but those were words on a printed page,
This was my best friend.

Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I hope the shift stays. 
The different way I look at him.
The different way he looks at me.
The deep knowing that God is right here with us.
In every circumstance, He is here.
Good or bad.
Health or death. 

He doesn't change.

Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the Heavens.  He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.
James 1:17

I want to stand in the shift with my head held high,
To know that I have conquered the fear of death because my God did
He sent His son to conquer death once and for all and now we are free.

The last enemy to be destroyed is death. For the scripture says, "God has put all things under His authority."
1 Corinthians 15:27

There is no fear in His perfect love,
He casts it out.

You go before me and follow me.  You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Psalm 139:5

The enemy has no hold on me
His love is greater and His plan is moving
My victory is in His redemption
I will never truly die for my life is hidden with Christ
I will open my eyes in the heavens.

Lord, that day when I was so afraid You were there,
And I know that You never leave.
Lord, I want to control this life I live but I know that I can't,
And You wouldn't want me to if I could.
For your plans are better and You are able to carry out more then I can ever plan on my own.
I know You love him more then I do, 
I know You are always fighting for him.
Let that sink in, Lord.
Thank you for conquering death and defeating what the enemy means for evil.
You are so good.
You are my rock.
Keep us in Your loving care.


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