Bullying and Brown-nosing

I don't know why they didn't like me. 

Maybe it was the fear they could smell or the lack of confidence that repelled them. 

It could have been my less then cool clothes or my freckled face.

Its a strange place to live in to just not be included or accepted and not understand why.

I would linger by their tables.

Some days they would invite me to stay and then others I could tell they were pretending they couldn't see me.  

I knew they knew I was there.

I wanted in on their games and conversations. 

It looked like they all belonged.

I think the reason I cling so close to my Savior is because when I met Him I finally knew what it felt like to belong.  

In this world that tells me that my clothes matter and my hair matters and my face matters and my body matters and my house matters and my status matters; I am often exhausted by it.  I just want to be me.  

I think of King Hezekiah.  He put God first in everything that he did.  He wanted to clean up the mess that his ancestors left behind and he was willing to step outside his comfort zone to do it.  He got rid of all the idols, pagan altars and temples.  He really wanted God to rule his life and the reign he had over the Kingdom of Judah. 

He remained faithful to the Lord in everything, and he carefully obeyed all the commands the Lord had given to Moses.

-2 Kings 18:6

After God proved Himself faithful to Hezekiah and led him to defeat the Assyrians and healed him from a life threatening disease, Hezekiah made one wrong move.  

The Babylonians offered a gift to him and Hezekiah wanted his status known.  A little bit of worldly pride got in his way and he began to show off his riches to them.  He showed them his armory, his treasure-house, his spices and oils.  Hezekiah wanted his guests to know that he was something on this earth.  He put all the requirements for world acceptance right in front of him.  For a moment he forgot who he was ultimately serving.  

I think that happens with us as people.  We can decide to not accept someone because in the moment, it looks like they're not like us.  If they affect our status or stand out in some way, we forget for a moment and think its okay to pick and choose. 

Or those times when we want someone to like us.  And we act like Hezekiah and "show off" our goods.  Putting our best foot forward always and never letting them really in. 

I don't think God ever intended loving people to be a matter of selection. 

In my life I have to love some difficult people.  Ones that have really hurt me and left scars.  The most challenging moments in my life have been learning how to love them.  As I gave myself to God in willingness to love them, He revealed to me how.  He never told me it would be easy. It isn't easy.  Its really, really hard.  But how could I say I have Jesus living in me and not believe that He will equip me to do that hard loving too?

Who is the Holy Spirit asking you to love right now?  Or let in deeper?  When we let others see our real selves they let us see their real self too. When you love someone that doesn't deserve it, you really see how big God's heart is for you. 

Hezekiah was told by Isaiah the prophet that because of his decision to parade the Babylonians through all what God had given him, there would come a day that the Babylonians would take all the riches from him.  

Because stuff is just stuff.  We can't take it with us and it doesn't tell anyone who we really are.  It doesn't even help tell ourselves who we are.  It isn't a measure of worth.  Our identity rests in our Saviour.  

Store your treasures in Heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.  Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be also.

-Matthew 6:20-21 

We are all created by a King in Heaven who adores us. I want to adore His creation with Him.  

Lord, give me eyes to see people like You do.

Give me a heart to reach out and not stay back. 

Help me to love like You love.

Teach me.

Thank You for loving me with unending acceptance. 

Thank you for being my home. 

You are my Savior and comfort and resting place.

I praise Your Holy Name.