Where Were You God?

Last night I had another flashback.  A moment of something deep, some sort of emotion I can't put into words.  Once in awhile it happens.  I don't cry loud or plead for it to have been different.  Its hard to put my finger on it.  Tough to describe.  It just hurts.

Maybe its the fact that things still aren't perfect.  I've put so many moments into prayer.

Never stop praying.

-1 Thessalonians 5:17

A simple verse with so much hope. Never stop praying.  He is my God who hears me and answers me. He is my friend who listens.  He holds me in those moments and speaks life where I cant seem to find anything blooming. 

I ask Him, "God, where were You?"

Its only a second that passes and I see faces.  Clear faces as pictures in my mind.  The names come back to me for each face that I see.  

He says to me, "I was in these people."

It becomes clear to me that Christ hadn't left me alone. He sent His people to me.  Loving servants of Him to pour into me and bring His goodness to a life that hurt. 

As I think about each face, each impact, I feel love.

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do.  Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.  He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

-Ephesians 5:1-2

I need to tell these people how thankful I am for them living out a true life in my Lord.  Living out what He asks of us. Do they know the impact they made?

Makes me think about my own impact.  The little girl who stands near me at church each Sunday, waiting for me to finish so I will notice her.  I ask her how her week was and give her a big hug.  When she's finished telling me her story, she runs off.  Just like that and I know she'll be back next week.   Am I making a difference for her?  Am I a face that God will bring to her mind a decade from now? 

Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 

-Ephesians 5:16-17


Am I asking God what He wants me to do?  Do I slow down enough to hear Him?  Do I make space to leave an impact everywhere I go?

 I am a person of light.  I have Christ in me.  I am a new creation.  No matter how hard it might hurt sometimes, I know He's called me to something better now.  A rescue story. A redemption plan that used so many others.  

So what's my impact?  

As I quiet myself before the Lord I ask Him to reveal how He has made me.  I ask Him to tell me how I can be His love.  How can I be a part of someone's rescue plan? I want to join the Saints and hear, "Well done."

What's unique about me that sets me apart from someone else?  How can I use that for God's glory?

  Father, tell me what my gifts are.  Father, lead me in Your love.

I'm often sidetracked, thinking it needs to be flashy.  It needs to be noticed.  I can't save the whole world.  He never asked me to.  Its the people who live beside me or the children at the park.  It's the daughters I'm raising and the husband I love.  The impact is in the normal.  The impact doesn't require others to notice.  The impact is about the person on the receiving end to notice God.

What do I have to give that could help someone notice God?

And now the Lord speaks, the one who formed me in my mother's womb to be His servant. 

-Isaiah 49:5

I live with purpose.  I am a servant of my Savior. I make an impact. 

Will it be an impact of His love?




Lord, I may not ever know why it all occurred
I may not need to know.
But for your saving grace and rescue of me I am so grateful.

You saw me as someone to love
You gave me a new name
Your love filled me up and healed the pain
I'm new in You

Lord, thank You
Deep gratitude from within my heart and I say thank You.
Ill never express how much it means 
And I say thank You
Forever I will praise Your name
For you restore
You cleanse 
You heal 
I am healed because you chose me.

Make my impact leave Your fingerprints on the lives that I touch
I am honored to be You in me.