When Trying to be Perfect Fails Again

He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him.

For the good.

Moses is on my mind.  He was called by God to lead God's chosen people to the promised land of Israel.  A land where God would prosper them and their family lines would be free from slavery.

  Moses had instruction for His life from God Himself.  Moses had direct contact with God and was able to actually audibly hear His voice.  You would think out of anyone, he wouldn't be able to take that for granted.   

Moses had walked with God as a partner in His Israelite escape plan.  It should have been easy to keep God's trust and commands.  Yet his disobedience changed the plan.  

When the Israelites were complaining for what seemed like the millionth time, Aaron and Moses came to the place where they met God for direction and fell to the ground in reverence. God told them that He would give them water and told Moses what to do. 

"You and Aaron must take the staff and assemble the entire community.  As the people watch, speak to the rock over there, and it will pour out its water.  you will provide enough water from the rock to satisfy the whole community and their livestock."

-Numbers 20:8

So, Moses and Aaron went to the people to carry out God's instructions.  The problem was that Moses in his anger and annoyance at the people decided to strike the rock with his staff two times instead of speak to it like God had asked of him.  

God told him in an audible voice to speak to the rock.  It was important how he treated the rock.  The rock represented God, the rock of faith for the Israelites. 

Moses decides in his own humanness to strike the rock.  It worked before.  He knows God is on his side.  He decides to change up the way God would come through.  

God loved Moses.  He adored Moses.  God didn't shout out in anger or end the whole rescue plan right there.  It was a simple change in plan that Moses took upon himself to do but the principle remained.  God had asked Moses to do something and Moses thought he could do it his way.  

God still had the water burst forth.  He didn't withhold the good result.  He then told Moses and Aaron that He wasn't pleased and what the consequence would be.

"Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them."

-Numbers 20:12 

I wonder what Moses felt hearing those words.  Regret?  Disappointment?  A life devoted to God and delivering His people and one wrong decision and He won't see the Promised Land. When reading it in the Bible it seems like it was an impulse decision.  

Listen to my instruction and be wise.  Don't ignore it.

-Proverbs 8:33

How many times do I react on impulse.  In anger or selfishness.  Pride or insecurity.  A split second falling out and I've left scars on myself and the people in my way. Just yesterday, when I am in a rush I get overwhelmed and can be easily angered.  I couldn't stop myself.  It was on impulse that I reacted like so many times before. 

Fast forward to Deuteronomy and we see Moses in his final days.  God tells Moses that he is about to die, but before he does, God wants him to record a song for him to teach the Israelites.

"So write down the words of this song, and teach it to the people of Israel.  Help them learn it, so it may serve as a witness for me against them.  For I will bring them into the land I swore to give their ancestors-a land flowing with milk and honey.  There they will become prosperous, eat all the food they want, and become fat.  But they will begin to worship other gods; they will despise me and break my covenant."  

-Deuteronomy 31:19-20

"So that very day Moses wrote down the words of the song and taught it to the Israelites."

-Deuteronomy 31:22

The Israelites learnt a song, written by God, forewarning them that they would turn against God once they had all the material things they were always begging for.  They learnt the words about the future sin they were about to commit.  

The song didn't stop them from doing what God had told them they would eventually do.  I'm sure that some of the Israelites, upon hearing the words of the song, looked at each other and said to themselves that there was no way they would commit those sins.  I'm sure they thought that Moses was losing his marbles in his old age and unable to hear God clearly anymore.  

If God told me I was about to do something I would regret, would it stop me?  Am I too human to stop my human impulses?  I knew that yesterdays rush could lead me to sinful behavior, yet when I felt my emotions in the moment it was too hard to not explode.

My human self won out that time.   

Paul knew this struggle.  He was another man that God spoke to and chose to set people free.  

"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead I do what I hate."

-Romans 7:15

Paul had the Holy Spirit to guide him and he was still impulsively doing the same mistakes.  It made him annoyed at himself.  He had a deep longing to just be perfect already.

I have that same longing.

So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death.  But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

-Romans 8:6 

The Israelites had a disadvantage.  Jesus hadn't died and sent the Holy Spirit to guide them.  We have the advantage.  The Holy Spirit leads our life. Devotion to Christ and relationship with Him changes our heart.  

Would I prefer to know my failings before they happen?  Would it change me?  Or would I choose to learn through my mistakes?

Sometimes the trial is the point.  I wouldn't be who I am today if not for the trials I overcame and the change of being I am as a result.  

So, here is where it all comes together for Moses.  God is kind.  God is just.  God is love.  God wasn't going to hold Moses' poor judgement over his head for years and years.  God still blessed Moses after striking the rock and He still spoke to Moses.

Moses didn't get angry at God for his discipline he received. He knew he made a bad decision and trusted God's love for him.  Would I do the same? Would I get mad at God and instead walk away, thinking about all the sacrifice I had made already for God and now this?  

God is asking us to love him.  It's not a passive love.  Its a relationship.  God is gentle and kind, but He is also the all powerful and mighty King of the universe.  As much as He loves us, he needs to be who He is. He never changes.  He is in charge and He requires obedience from us.  When we disobey, He corrects us because we are in relationship with Him and He wants to improve that relationship.  

For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes each one he accepts as His child.

-Hebrews 12:6

 God has told Moses that his life is about to be over.  Then, in God's pure kindness He tells Moses that even though he wont lead the people into the land, God will show him the land.  God tells Moses to climb up the mountains east of the river and look.

"Look out across the land of Canaan, the land I am giving to the people of Israel as their own special possession.  Then you will die there on the mountain."

-Deuteronomy 32:49b

Moses was called a man of God.  He made a mistake and God disciplined him.  He didn't get angry or leave God, He pressed on.  At the end of his life, God blessed him DESPITE his disobedience.  Moses continued to hear and receive messages from God and make huge impacts in the lives of the Israelites.  In the end, God gave him the view of the Promised Land.  

Since the fall of Adam, God is perfectly aware that our humanness is going to win out sometimes.  That is the point of forgiveness.  In His word He encourages us to press on, keep drawing near to Him and He will sanctify us, make us in His image, as we live out our lives on earth.  Only when we meet Him in Heaven, dying to our earthly human life, do we become fully glorified.  Finally free of our human sin and pull of human impulse and like Jesus.

What a day that will be.

Until then, God will use my mistakes and trials to shape me.  He knows I am going to slip up.  He doesn't condemn or place shame upon me.  He calls me up higher.  

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.

-Romans 8:28


Oh Lord, You are making me like You
You take my failings and teach me 
You keep my burdens and give me rest.

I'm always called to something better by You
I'm never stuck 
Your grace frees me again and again
How wonderful You love me
How beautiful You care

Make me more like You as I seek You
Give me insight
Forgive my impulse
Stay near me, Lord for I need You
I depend on You
I belong in You.